Happily Ever After

Princesses suck.

Just…really. Pink and ruffles is not my jam.

I’d hope by this point we all get why telling little girls just to wait around and get to their ‘happily ever after’ is just complete bull shit.

Even though Frozen isn’t perfect, even Disney is getting the message.

But the issue is so much deeper. It’s almost a given that at some point someone has told you, honestly, that your time will come. That somehow it will just magically be the day when it all clicks into place.


My happy takes work. Strike that, I don’t think I’m even okay with ‘happy.’

Don’t get me wrong – I put Eddie Murphy on, jam out, giggle until I hurt as much, if not more, than the next person. Fun, frivolity and play are so important.

But what the ‘ever after’ implies is some way to make your life perfect, at all times, during whatever comes. And it’s obvious that’s just not how it goes.

Even outside of the hurt and sadness we all experience, there’s just no way for us to be “on” at all times.

Getting your grouch on and taking in a long bath with Netflix and a box of red is just how it goes.

But I will say I’ve learned how to work.

To work within my life to get to joy. To get to a feeling that is sustainable and can hold my experience. A feeling that I can share with happiness, with sadness, with all those weird things in between.

That I can take into my relationships, feed with a good walk, a good book, some time with my love.

A joyful life is what I am trying to build. One that sees dance parties as divine and transcendence in a good cup of black coffee. A life that never stops being just a little bit contrary and prefers jeans and motorcycle boots to a ball gown (most days).


The Art of the Everyday – February 28: Happily ever after, “And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?


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