Toot, toot

I like myself.

And that’s a long time coming.

I am not perfect, I am flawed, I make (lots) of mistakes, I don’t like myself sometimes, I try to do my best.

My favorite thing about myself is that I expect a lot of people, and myself.

Street art, East Jerusalem 2009

Street art, East Jerusalem 2009

I am learning (slowly) that sometimes what is, is actually the best – rather than the expectation or a perception of what could be.

But I don’t regret having high expectations. Unrealistic, in fact, is often applied. Frankly, I think that’s a cop out.

Expecting a lot means taking the tough road. It means not letting things ride. It means having  a lot of uncomfortable, weird, but ultimately rewarding conversations with others and with myself.

It can mean I over-share, or am perhaps a bit too honest at the cost of gentleness. Which is how I’ve learned to apologize so well.

I value raw honesty, even when it stings.

As much as I practice mindfulness and acceptance (so I don’t go completely off the rails), I am also proud of my striving, driven nature. Fighting it just doesn’t work.

What I’m now learning is to direct my energies, to apply them in healthy ways, and to allow myself to fail. Just because I expect the best, doesn’t mean it happens.

When I pick myself up, dust myself off, and look around, I’m still glad I dream big and try to make it happen.

***

The Art of the Everyday, January 21 – Toot your horn: Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favorite thing about yourself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s