This past week I got sick.
The sickest I’ve been in a good long while. Hello, gross snot-head-and-trust-me-you-don’t-want-to-know-the-rest.
It offered a much needed slap in the mucus-creator about my perspective as of late.
Doing academic work of any kind can force you to question your place on this planet, but I find PhD applications to be their own special slice of hell.
“Tell us in 500 words how you will successfully complete 6 years of work, exactly what you will research like a superhuman research-gnome, and how it will CHANGE THE MOTHER F*CK’N WORLD”
But for serious, also decide where you want to live/force your SO to relocate to for the foreseeable future, debate the public transit/microbrewery/airport/weather with yourself, and have a breakdown about how this will impact your decision to start thinking about maybe adopting a pet.
Eventually this just forces system failure.
As Allie Brosh (aka Hyperbole and a Half) once summed up adulthood: “I did three things yesterday! Now I’m supposed to keep doing things? It’s like the things never end!”
In my Nyquil-riddled state, I read The Night Guest, which bends and twists in the realm of magical realism and psychological thriller (extra fun dreams on the ‘quil). It forces the reader to question what is real, what is of value, and how we can tell the difference.
The headstrong caregiver, Frida, reminded me of my more stubborn aspects: “But this was Frida’s way: it was impossible to surprise her. She would rather starve then be caught off guard; she had said so one more than one occasion.”
I strive to be more lithe and flexible with life’s surprises, but I understood all too clearly the need to categorize, solve, and tick off each aspect of my life and future.
I also indulged my YouTube addiction and caught up on some videos. I often enjoy Vlogbrothers videos, and this one seemed to speak directly to me: “You can’t know what an experience will mean to future you until you are future you.”
On the mend after a few days in bed, I spoke to my randomly-selected-freshman-year-roommate-turned-good-friend who said these words to me: “You just have to do the now, and worry about the rest later. Much later.”
Alright universe, I get it.