Today is not my day. From the unexpected paving crew at 7am, the subsequent car moving up a giant hill in my PJs, and an early morning “I-can’t-find-this-where-did-you-put-it” argument from the partner, I have my grouch on.
I have the urge to push the smiley little kid in the coffee shop onto his tuckus and be like: YEA THAT’S HOW LIFE IS. DEAL.
[not really, but you get it.]
Instead, I will drink my gigantic iced coffee and stew in my own juices. Sometimes, I just can’t shake this mood. Whether it’s stress, my ever-growing to-do list, the perpetual rain, or my hyper-sensitive blood sugar levels, or a combo of all of the above, I want to scowl at everything.
On a normal day, I for sure have Bitchy Resting Face, causing most people to ask what’s wrong or to try to console me in some way. Often, I just have to say: oh no, that’s my face. But today, that ‘tude is real.
Deep down, okay not even that deep, I know that none of this will matter tomorrow, in a day, or even in an hour. Powering that intellectual awareness over my emotions, however, is another story entirely.
And, let’s be honest, sometime’s it just feels good to be angry.
To exert some kind of force into the world and rage a bit. Maybe it’s the letting go of the face I put on each day to please the outside world. Or the power to just say ‘no’ to anyone who tries to fake-cheer me up.
We all do so many things throughout our life to please others that at times it’s nice to just….not. Or is that only me?
The trick, I guess, is to find something constructive to turn this energy into. Be it a run, powering through a bunch of bullshit, or standing up for myself when it really matters.
Because as fun and natural as anger can be, I’ve seen what it will do if you let it be your only guide. The heartburn just isn’t worth it.