Frayed

“i am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and i am getting along. i am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. i am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck i’ve come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty bats and shines, not in its imperfections, but overwhelmingly in spite of them.” annie dillard

I have a hard time letting myself be broken. To not hide the wounds I know we all share. Letting those hurts breathe in the open and be touched by the fresh air.

More than being broken, it is letting myself feel healed. Letting go of the guilt, the sadness, the anxiety. It’s all too easy to rely on those feelings as a crutch. As reliable, comprehensible emotions. Not the unknown ahead.

Today I was offered the unexpected gift of simply being asked to share a table with a new friend. Listening to him read “Trick or Treat Smell my Feet” to his daughter, with syrup dripping off her nose.

Watching her begin to read; “gu-uh-gu-uh-gum!”

Seeing a tiny sparrow flit in and out of the stream behind the coffee shop as she picked a out a new book.

In her declaration that she would be the lead character, because “I can tell she’s a good person…and she’s beautiful.”

Her father’s response that: “I’m glad you said she’s a good person first. That’s very important.”

In being given a portrait of my “funny hair.”

Realizing that we never know what gifts we give each other, and that we may be on a splintered wreck, but we are on it together.

Photo on 2013-06-08 at 10.42 #2

***
Thanks Megancita for the beautiful reminder from Ms. Dillard.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s